About Concentration Camp Vught:

Vught was the only official SS concentration camp in occupied Northwest Europe, established in occupied Holland. Construction began in May 1942. The first prisoners arrived at the camp before it was finished at the end of 1942. These prisoners came from the camp in Amersfoort , which the Nazis wanted to give up. The famished and abused prisoners arrived at the railway station in Vught and were marched off along the streets.

The first commander of the camp was an SS captain named Karl Chmilewski. This SS Officer was well known for the barbaric atrocities he had committed at the camp of Gusen, an sub-camp of Mauthausen. (Mauthausen had a reputation as one of the most brutal Nazi camps).

Conditions in Vught were initially deplorable. Hundreds of prisoners died during the first few months as a result of maltreatment, shortage of clothing, lack of food, polluted water, and various infectious diseases that were rampant in the overcrowded barracks. Many Jewish children were victims of this. After a while conditions improved simply because nearly all the Jews had been deported and so the camp had more space.

The second section of Vught was designed as a security camp (Schutzhaftlager). This section received all the Dutch and Belgian political prisoners, men and women. The guards were exclusively SS. The food was nearly nonexistent : warm water with some carrots or sauerkraut floating on the surface. The SS guards tortured the prisoners with incredible cruelty beating them to death (several prisoners were brutalized with a club wrapped with barbed wire). The SS often provoked their dogs to attack prisoners and there are several testimonies of horrible wounds, including to genitals. Altogether 749 people lost their lives for various reasons. A large number of them (mostly members of the resistance) were executed in the woods near the camp at the so called “Fusilladeplaats.” (source https://www.jewishvirtuallibrary.org/jsource/Holocaust/Vught.html)

Witness Statement Felix Adrianus Eliza Ravesloot born 10-01-1915, Vught Concentration Camp.

On a Sunday morning, the end of January, beginning February 1943, all prisoners from the concentration camp in Vught were driven from their barracks. After the headcount that followed all marched to the future location of the headcount square.

After the trees were cleared to make space for the concentration camp, they had been stacked in this area. Now this location had to be cleared for future head counts, since up to this point, headcounts were just held next to or in between the barracks.

This Sunday the goal of the camp leaders was that all the trees had to be removed from this area by the prisoners. This happened along the road that went through the camp, and then excited the camp toward the town of Yzeren, and when you turned right you entered the highway, I believe it lead to Tilburg. A little ways down this highway was an area where all the wood was supposed to be transported to. The whole route was surrounded by SS soldiers, armed with rifles and machine guns, clubs and long whips. Also there were several SS soldiers with dogs on long leashes.

On the headcount square the prisoners were forced to carry the trees on their shoulders. Depending on the weight of the trees, three or four man would pick up a tree and begin carrying it. Then when we were on our way to carry the tree from the square to the place all the way down the road where we were supposed to dump it, the soldiers or other camp staff, would strike and beat one or two prisoners away from the group that carried the tree, so that the remaining two would have to carry the tree all the way down the road, which was virtually impossible.

After we had delivered the tree, on the way back, we had to run. If we slowed down at all, the soldiers hit us as hard as they could, wherever they could with their with their clubs, back of the rifles, whips, or they set the dogs loose on us.

The whole thing lasted without a break from 7 am to 4 pm.

A large number of prisoners died through the exhaustion or torture and an even larger number was in very bad shape after this day. The bodies of the victims had to be carried back to the camp by the other prisoners on wheelbarrows or just by lifting them up amongst them. The total number of deaths of this Sunday was about 250 prisoners.

Personally I was OK, besides receiving numerous kicks and punches, and hits with clubs and the back of rifles and so forth.

Because the crematorium was not working yet, the bodies of the victims could not be processed quickly and that’s why the bodies were stacked everywhere there was room, also in the sick ward. When one day I had received permission from a camp commander to visit a friend in the sick ward, and entered the building, I accidentally opened the wrong door, and found myself in a room where I saw a large number of naked human bodies stacked on top of each other.

During the first two winter months in 1943 the situation in Vught was deplorable. Nothing functioned normally. There was a lack of sufficient barracks, beds, hay bags, blankets, medication, bandages, cooking utensils, and no drinking water. The food could not be cooked, due to a lack of pans and because there weren’t enough…. the food could not arrive on time in the barrack. Afterwards these things were supplied from Amersfoort. Repeatedly there was not food for us at all.

We slept with three or four men on two single beds, pushed together, naked with very few, thin blankets. In the beginning we were clothed in the old uniforms for the Dutch Army, which we received in Amersfoort. From this several still had a coat. However on a cold night mid February 1943 we had to take off all our clothes and hand them over. Then we received nothing but one pair of pants, one shirt and a hat, of striped fabric, also called a Sing-Sing outfit.

Everything was of course far too big on us over our naked bodies. Many who tied a rope around their middle to get the fabric closer to their bodies, received hard and repeated beatings. In the morning at 6 am, while the temperatures were far below freezing, that is how you stood on the head count square. Some prisoners ( I among them) were ‘rich’ if they had found an empty cement bag and after creating the necessary holes could wear it as an undergarment. If you wore this garment and the camp police found out, you received at least 25 beatings with the club.

The change of clothing was supposedly happening to delouse us, however we never saw our original garments back. From top to bottom we were covered by lice. Soap and towels were not available so there was nothing we could do to delouse us ourselves, except for delousing each other.

Many prisoners, including myself, suffered from open wounds on our bodies, especially on arms and legs. The vermin around the camp especially liked these places on our bodies. In those days you were lucky if you could get a fresh bandage once week at the sick ward. This bandage was nothing more than toilet paper. When you were ‘bandaged’ with this material, you could throw it away an hour later, it did nothing to protect the wound and consequently many prisoners suffered from severe wound infections. Many were suffering from dysentery and because there were no medications there was nothing to stop it.

There was also a lack of drinking water. Around the taps and sinks in the camp the commanders had written with red markers that it was forbidden to drink the water from the tap. However, since we still needed fluids, we still drank it, and also tried to do whatever we could to get fluids, for example from the ditch that was dug by the prisoners on the edge of the camp. Personally I witnessed how a prisoner asked the nearest soldier if he could drink from the ditch and after the soldier gave permission, the prisoner went to the ditch. When he was on his knees in front of the ditch to drink, another soldier shot and killed him for an attempt escape the camp. This resulted in a bonus for the soldier who shot him, who received a financial reward and four days vacation.

In the morning, during head count, a number of a prisoner would be called, and the person with this number would be released from the camp. After repeatedly calling out the number, nobody stepped forward and nobody asked about it. After about three weeks a prisoner died in the sick ward who had the number that had been called out three weeks prior for release at the head count square. If the camp commanders had taken the effort to explore where this prisoner was, this prisoner would most likely still have been alive today. I believe his name was Jan Lind from Doesburg, about 20 to 22 years old.

The head counts lasted a terribly long time. What was horrible too is that the bodies of the prisoners who had passed away also had to be at the head count. In the mornings the head counts had to be the same as the previous evening counts. So if 25 men had died during the night, all those 25 bodies had to be stacked onto the headcount square. The transport occurred by wheelbarrows or carried by the prisoners. Afterward the bodies were brought to the sick ward, and there, after being undressed were transported with 5 or 10 bodies stacked on top of each other, to the crematorium. Several times I noticed how during this transport one or two bodies fell off the hand cart which was awful to watch.

The chimney would smoke and the camp guard Jupo and his helpers would get very drunk afterward, because for this work they would get extra brandywine and food. All these facts happened under command of Schmilewoki and hauptscharfuher Franz Ettlinger.

This last one was even meaner than the commander himself. He did everything he could to make the life of the prisoners as miserable as possible; he crawled through the buildings and behind trees, to startle us, beat us and note numbers of prisoners who he thought were not working hard enough. Then, at night, during head count, these numbers would be called for punishment. This would be a large number of lashings with a stick on their naked bodies, in front of the other prisoners. Also the dogs were a favorite play toy of Ettlinger, and he used them often to torture the prisoners.

I was in Vught the beginning of 1943 in block 16, with capo’s Ernst Schneider, capo nr 4057 and Oswald Unverdorben, capo nr 4028.

Especially the last one was a devil, who one moment could be calm, and then the next completely insane. Repeatedly he assaulted the prisoners while they were sleeping. Completely naked we had to come to him through the below freezing temperatures, without shoes, for inspection, even though nobody had soap or a towel.

Then we would be beaten toward the washroom, and together with about 200 men, we had about 30 taps, so washing was impossible. In the mean time the guards beat us left and right on our naked bodies as hard as they could, wherever they could strike us. If they got tired, they drove us back to the barracks, only to drive us out of the barracks half an hour later to play the game again.

People who were dying, or sick, or suffered from dysentery, were not allowed to enter the sleeping barracks, and had to spend the night in the washroom, because they might defile the mattresses. In the washroom, they were laying on the stone cold floor without a blanket or mattress. Many died this way.

For every 200 prisoners there were five toilets, with one toilet being reserved for the guard, so there was always a long line to find a place to relieve yourself, and toilets were shared by three prisoners at the same time. That didn’t happen because we liked it, but out of sheer necessity, yet Oswald Unverdorben loved to beat the group apart with his club when this happened.

Repeatedly I have seen him give prisoners 25 or more hits with the club on their naked backs or buttocks, or on their heads, until the blood ran out of their nose and ears. In March 1943, when prisoners could receive a package from family, he stole everything from those packages that was even remotely interesting, so he could create a nice dinner for himself every day, while his prisoners perished. He was a sadist!

Above statements are a reflection of the truth. Signed Arnhem, December 5th, 1947, FAE RAVESLOOT.

Above statement  on request of the Directorial Generaal voor Byzondere Rechtspleging, Sub Commissie Opsporing Oorlogs Misdryven te s’Hertogenbosch.  (War Crime Court)

My grandmother Hendrika Ravesloot-Wijlhuizen repeatedly tried to get her husband released from the camps. From what I have heard is that she finally found an official with connections who was willing to pull strings to get him out. This worked, and my grandfather returned home, only to find that his home (Mesdaglaan 39, Arnhem) was taken by German soldiers. Together with their daughter Lous my grandfather and grandmother lived on my grandmothers family’s farm for the last two years of the war. You can visit this farm, it is a guesthouse now. During this time my grandmother got pregnant with my father, also called Felix, who was born just before the end of the second world war. After the war my grandfather received certificates of appreciation from both Eisenhower and the British armed forces for his help given to the British pilots which enabled them to escape. While my grandfather never fully returned to complete physical health after his experiences in the prison camps, he remained mentally very strong, and was an amiable man who was always full of laughter and jokes. Due to his physical toll of the concentration camp experiences, he passed away on Christmas eve 1974, when he was just 59 years old.

May we never forget, and continue to work together across cultural, religious, national, political divides to create societies in which we all thrive and prosper for centuries to come. 

in-honor-of-the-dutch-remembrance-day-my-grand-fathers-wwii-dutch-concentration-camp-witness-statements.html

Whether you are an entrepreneur, executive, or a mom, your leadership is essential to ignite positive change in your tribe.  

For some women, leading is a second nature. For others it can be challenging, frustrating and, when things don't flow, downright irritating. Sounds familiar?

​Read on to learn how interacting with horses helps you grow your leadership skills. 

A horse doesn't care if you drive the latest BMW or wear a fancy suit. A horse is not impressed by your bank account, or by your title. A horse does not follow your lead based on what you own or what you make. He does not lie, cheat, deceive. A horse follows only if he recognizes there is an authentic willingness deep inside you to design win-wins.

How many times do we say 'yes' when we mean 'no'? How often to we give in, only to regret it later? How do we protect our boundaries when they get challenged by our tribe? What does it take to protect a boundary, and what methods and strategies are appropriate and required? While horses lack spoken language they have neither issue understanding your boundaries nor establishing boundaries of their own. Effortlessly they utilize their bodies to communicate both acceptance and dissatisfaction, without getting tangled in excessive emotions. Studying their ways offers profound insight in how we too can utilize our bodies, minds and souls to set and protect boundaries without compromise. 

We all have developed habitual patterns of behavior. We are triggered to respond in certain ways. When dealing with dilemmas, we prefer certain approaches over others, even if they are ineffective. These automatic responses are based on past experiences and if they work well for us, we are lucky gals. However, sometimes they are outdated and in need of upgrading. Horses are master observers; they watch our habits and act upon them, helping us reflect and grow. ​

While working as a business consultant in Europe, our project leader loved the phrase 'Assumption is the mother of all f#ck ups." He used it almost daily to emphasize the importance of finding clarity, foundation and proof for our claims, and identify the root cause of issues for a deep analysis of the truth. Only when you deal with truth, and nothing but truth, you can begin to build solutions that truly address the issue at hand.  However, often we are stuck with assumptions in our head. Assumptions about our own abilities. Assumptions about behavioral patterns of the people we work with and so forth. When you work with horses, and specifically when you reflect upon that work, you open up unique opportunities to go to root causes of what's happening, address it and experiment again, without horses holding a grudge for life for your mistakes.  

There is a time to lead, to partner and to follow. But sometimes pride gets in the way and we get stuck in a mindset of how things should be, rather than focusing on what is. Horses can't afford to get stuck. They show us how to defer leadership to a more skillful individual, how to partner to solve problems and how to get all noses in the same direction when you are the most equipped leader in the room. 

Each person is different. Each horse is different. And each entity needs a slightly modified version of leadership. Some like gentle encouragement. Some like straight, transparent challenges. And yet others blossom through lots of reward. If you really want to bring out the best in your tribe, you'll need flexible leadership. When interacting with horses, you'll find that some need you to be extremely clear,  for if you are not, your message does not come across. Other horses need you to be extremely subtle, for if you are not, they are too intimidated to follow you. And yet others need you to be playful, joyful, for if you are not, they get bored and quit. The horses' responses help you heighten your understanding of your own flexibility and allow you to develop strategies that take the best of what you've got and combine it with solid knowledge to bring out the best in your tribe as well. 

Horses are herd animals. And while some of us love being alone, it's in our genes to find social connection, based upon a deep seated understanding that together we can move mountains. Horses show you the importance of interdependence; the idea that while you are strong when you are alone, you are even stronger when partnering with other strong women. And when that happens, when you sync up, watch out world, you'll never be the same. Horses understand that there is safety and power in a herd, and will generally flock together, especially when there are threats on the horizon. Horses teach you that no matter your penchant for bravery, courage and leadership, there is a time where you need a partner who is there for you, to help you, support you and stimulate you, and move that mountain, together. 

​Horses are masters of reading genuine emotions and offer non-biased mirroring how we appear to the world. Interaction with horses at liberty allows discovery of newfound insights regarding your habits, your assumptions, your strengths and your opportunities in a gentle, heartfelt experiential way. The intuition, empathy and honesty of horses make learning exactly what it needs to be for each individual; uplifting, challenging or comforting. They provide you the clarity and wisdom you seek to grow your skillset. Watch it, understand it and utilize it. Become the best leader you can be and ignite positive change in your world. 

*** This article was published in the December 2018 edition of Natural Awakenings**
The book of 2018 is closing, reminding people to pause, reflect and let go. The new year is
bringing a blank book, and the pen is in our hands. It is our chance to write a beautiful story for
ourselves, but what if the holiday season brings about too much stress to sit down and write?
Here are three tactics for managing emotional wellbeing during even the most stressful
midwinter days.

Label Emotions
When happy holiday talk turns into heated debate, feelings could get hurt. While storming off in
anger seems like a tempting solution, doing so could destroy valuable relationships. Instead,
when your heartbeat is racing, try to identify up to five emotions you are experiencing. Labeling
emotions activates neurological pathways capable of promoting coherent thinking, aiding in
resolving conflicts strategically.

Looking Back From Beyond
Changing perspective can aid us in finding solutions to pervasive problems. When stuck in a
difficult position, imagine yourself in the year 2028. Consider what this wiser, more experienced
version of yourself in 2028 would advise you to do today. Pay heed to the message and
implement where appropriate.

Imagine Being a Horse
Horses instinctively maintain equilibrium; a state in which opposing forces or influences are
balanced, so impactful stressors are removed and calm is restored. When horses are stressed,
they run. When horses are tired, they sleep. When horses are lonely, they whinny. Seeking a
sense of equilibrium means to acknowledge voids, pains and pangs of regret and actively work to
address them before things get out of hand. Speak out when feelings get hurt. Sleep when eyes
get teary. Stand up when boundaries are crossed.

May the coming year bring us courage to follow our dreams by managing emotional well-being,
enhancing creativity and deepening relationships. May we live life to the fullest while enjoying
each day of our adventure, and may we all live a meaningful 2019.

Monique Ravesloot is the founder of EquineFlow, located in Piedmont, SC. For more
information, visit EquineFlow.com or call 864-906-7576.

The Funeral Experience
Sir Richard Branson, founder of the Virgin Group, is worth some $5 billion and equates success with personal fulfillment. "Too many people measure how successful they are by how much money they make or the people that they associate with," he wrote on LinkedIn. "In my opinion, true success should be measured by how happy you are." American poet, singer, and civil rights activist Maya Angelou defined success as "Success is liking yourself, liking what you do, and liking how you do it." Author Steven Covey of the best selling book "The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People," told the New York Times: "If you carefully consider what you want to be said of you in the funeral experience, you will find your definition of success.

Family Of Origin Influences
So which definition of success should you use? Despite what others say, what matters most is our personal interpretation of success. Yet, our personal interpretation is often anything but personal. During our formative years, which most of us spend in or near our family of origin, we were subjected to the opinion of our caregivers. How our mothers and fathers perceived ‘success’, is the foundation of how we view success today.

Existential Authenticity 
Luckily there is an antidote to mental confuse and misery: existential authenticity. Authenticity is a concept in psychology as well as existentialist philosophy. In existentialism, - a theory emphasizing the individual person as a free and responsible agent determining their own development through acts of the will-, authenticity refers to the degree to which one is true to one's own personality, despite external pressures.  

So how do we achieve ‘existential ‘authenticity’? According to French philosopher Sartre, human beings are able to define their own values and determine meaning for their life. The call for authenticity also resonates with the Oracle of Delphi, the high priestess of the ancient Greek Temple of Apollo, who instructed:  “Know thyself”. Also on topic, Danish philosopher Kierkegaard, proposes that each individual—not family of origin, society or religion—is solely responsible for giving meaning to life and living it passionately and sincerely, or "authentically". And lastly, if we consult non-human wisdom for guidance, in the form of a horse, surprisingly, we find similar sentiments there.  ​

Thinking Like Horses 
What do horses have to do with authenticy? The secret lies in a horse being a non-verbal creature. Much of the manipulation and indoctrination in humans is executed through verbal language. Because horses rely on NON-verbal language, they are protected from interference with their self determined notion of their character. A horse does not think about thinking; instead it just ‘is’. It respects the rise and the fall of the day and what it brings. A horse allows the body and the mind to respond non-judgmentally to the pull of emotions that work to keep the mental and physical essence of the horse safe. The horse has no ability to be anything but authentic, and in devoid of masquerade, lies the tremendous freedom of being. 

Becoming Who You Truly Are
If we want to take advantage of these secrets to successful living, we must first figure out who we are. What are we really like, if we drop those masks, that we so carefully constructed over a lifetime of living up to someone else’s standards? By clarifying core values, deciphering deep felt yearning, and allowing the world to see the frayed edges of our soul, we begin our journey toward self-directed, self-determined, heartfelt success. From there, we develop a steady home-base allowing us to pursue and achieve, as well as to lead and inspire, authentically, without any doubt or regret, for a lifetime to come.
“The privilege of a lifetime is to become who you truly are.” - C.G. Jung.
​

It is mid-morning in Piedmont, South Carolina. The ring-a-ling of the gate announces the arrival of Lauren, a client who has to come to spend time with the horses at EquineFlow, an Upstate center for horse-guided human development. Lauren parks her car and walks toward the pasture. A trail of tension seems to follow her; shoulders are tight and teeth are clenched.

Lauren enters the pasture. The horses raise their heads in acknowledgement and settle down to graze again. Lauren stands under an old red oak, quietly observing the tranquil scene. Cows splash in the pond and squirrels jump from tree to tree. Birds twitter while a horse rolls in dirt. A sense of natural balance flows from squirrel to bird, from horse to human. It doesn’t take long before shoulders relax, eyes soften and a deep, audible breath emerges. Lauren says softly, “Oh. I needed this,” and adds, “I wish I could do this all day. It reminds me that despite my rough day, I am okay.”

Being with horses is infinitely grounding. They neither judge us, nor try to fix us. Instead they respect our right to self-determination. Their acceptance of who we are allows us to stop resisting, and helps us find the lesson behind our anguish. So when life become overwhelming, we have the opportunity to simply follow our intuition, and surrender to the blissful tranquility of an unbridled herd of horses in their natural habitat.

Monique L. Ravesloot, CTLC-ES, is a certified transformational life coach, and founder of the EquineFlow Center for Horse Guided Human Development. She lives with partner Mark and son Finn at their urban horse farm in Piedmont. Visit her online at EquineFlow.com.

Whether you like it or not, your actions and words are constantly judged by your own mind. Often these voices are quite harsh and hurtful and can leave you feeling drained. Learn how to transform self-judgment by installing some easy habits and restore self-trust.

Why does self-criticism exist? Where does it come from? Philosophers and psychologists have come up with several names for the inner critic: ranging from Jung’s ‘The Shadow’ to Robert Bly’s ‘The Long Bag We Drag Behind Us” and Bill Plotkin’s “Loyal Soldier’, to terms like the saboteur, the judge within, or the superego. For nearly all of us, this voice inside is our fiercest critic, leaving us discouraged or hurt.

Our first instinct may be to judge the inner critic as the bad guy, one who needs to be locked up, shut up, or otherwise silenced. However, if we consistently tap into the underlying positive intent, and integrate its message, we uncover an untapped resource that exist with the sole purpose of protecting us.

Where does the inner critic come from?
The inner critic is an ancient survival mechanism and is based on emotions. Emotions are physical and instinctive. They have been programmed into our genes over years of evolution and are hard-wired in our brain. Their general purpose is to produce a specific response to a stimulus. So far so good. However, emotions are carried out by the limbic system, our emotional processing center. This means that they are illogical, irrational, and unreasonable because the limbic system is separate from – sitting literally behind – the neocortex, the part of our brain that deals with conscious thoughts, reasoning and decision making.

The neocortex can do things like flexible, adaptive, coherent, energetic and stable thinking. When it speaks to you, it sounds a lot like Professor Dumbledore from Harry Potter; calm, wise and enigmatic. However, when the limbic system speaks, it sounds more like a militant, crazy, aggressive, cruel Professor Snape, which is, you’ve guessed it right, your inner critic.

Why does it exist?
Important is to remember that for a healthy, happy, long Harry Potter life, you need both Professor Dumbledore and Professor Snape. They compliment one another in knowledge, wisdom and insight. Even though they use a very different tone to get their message across, both have valid points worth your consideration.  So if you want to ditch self doubt and learn how to trust yourself, below are 5 simple ways to engage the inner critic to find the benign message behind.

Habit 1. Raise Your Awareness of the Inner Critic
Notice when your inner critic pops up, become aware of its patterns, and describe what it looks like. You may do a quick sketch, use some colors to paint a symbol, make a representation out of play-doh, or simply think of a color that best represents its attributes. Then, give it a name. Labeling the feeling will help you detach yourself from the emotion, remind you that you are not your feelings, and will help you better execute habit #2.

Habit 2. Engage the Inner Critic
This one feels counterintuitive; we really want the disruptive inner critic to just go away and leave us alone. However, despite the harsh words, the inner critic always has a desire to serve us in some way, to protect us and keep us safe. The next time your inner critic pops up, simply direct some empathic socratic enquiry toward it. You could say something like ‘Hello inner critic, what are you trying to do for me?’, ‘Why are you here?’, ‘What is your concern?’, or ‘What need am I not honoring within myself’? Be patient and gentle, and focus on the message underneath, channeling your intuition to find the key point the inner critic is trying to make. Remember, the limbic system is not rational and the key point may be very different from the loud criticism it whispers in your ear.

Habit 3. Calibrate the Message
Even though the inner critic might say things like ‘You are ugly.’, ‘You can’t do anything right’, or ‘Nobody likes you.’, the message is not that you are ugly, can’t do anything right or that nobody likes you. Instead when the inner critic whispers ‘You are Ugly.’, it might just be concerned about how much you let other people’s approval or your own body influence how you view yourself.  When it says ‘You can’t do anything right’, there may just be a skill that you know you need to develop in order to get that dream job, but you have been putting off additional training, and that is hindering your progress. When it says ‘Nobody likes You’, it might pick up on an underlying loneliness that indicated that you need to get more good, like minded people in your life. So take time to resonate with the message. Does it feel right? Say it out loud and play with it. Let it fade into the background, throw it up in the air,  and set it sail, and see if it changes. Give it time.

Habit 4. Honor The Inner Critic
When your have found the message, give your inner critic respect and appreciation for keeping you safe. This can be the first step to integrating your inner critic, transforming its judgement  and seeing it as a loyal soldier who is always there for you to protect you from harm. By considering and honoring its core message, it will eventually calm down and find a softer tone of voice to warn you of impending doom. Alternatively, the more you try to ignore the inner critic, the louder, the more obnoxious, more disruptive it becomes.

Habit 5. Install the change.
Honor the need that wasn’t met. Restore the self-trust. Learn that new skill. Join that new meetup group or start one yourself.  And thank your inner critic for looking out for you.

Unleash The Power Of Your Mind
You were born with an inner resource that, if nurtured, integrated and cultivated, has the potential to help you self-determine and self-direct to create the life that you want. By embracing the inner critic, you no longer need approval and guidance of others. Instead by unleashing the power of your creative mind and your fear center, you learn to trust yourself and turn to yourself for difficult decisions on complex problems. So keep it up with the 5 habits, and if you get stuck, you know where to find me.

Warmly,
Monique

​Resistance, disinclination, hesitancy, reluctance. Four words describing a tingling sensation associated with feeling you are not ready to move forward with something, even if you think you should. It doesn’t feel like a downright ‘NO!’, but more like a hunch, a disinclination to do something, a lack of enthusiasm. And the frustating thing? Is not always clear why you feel that way. Sounds familiar? Read on. 

Resistant Reluctance is there for a reason. It is an emotion provoked by deeper parts of your mind to ensure your core needs are being met. Basic needs like safety, sleep, food, water, and more complex needs, like connection, purpose, freedom, respect and love.

The unconscious part of your mind is powerful and keeps you safe in times of trouble. In the background it scans your internal and external environment for threats. When it detects a threat standing in the way of your basic needs getting met, it quickly deploys a wide array of proven strategies to protect you.

Simple strategies provoke motion, causing you to fight, freeze or run away. More complex strategies  provoke emotions that push you to act or feel in a certain way. One of these complex strategies is 'resistant reluctance', and there are two basic arch types with their own distinct feel. ​

TYPE A: Conscious Resistant Reluctance
When danger is clear and concise (like hearing the sounds of a freight train coming toward you) your mind and body work together to move you away from the danger (moving your muscles to rapidly step away from rails).

• It is immediately clear why you experienced resistant reluctance toward standing so close to the train rails.
• For the rest of your life you will experience resistant reluctance when standing close to train rails, and also understand why.
• It makes sense and you might even give gratitude toward your body and mind for keeping you safe.

TYPE B: Unconscious Resistant Reluctance
When danger is vague and opaque (like feeling a lack of enthusiasm moving forward with a project), your mind and body work together to move you away from the danger (stalling your muscles to not get any work done).

• It is unclear why you experienced resistant reluctance moving forward with the project.
• For the rest of your life you will experience resistant reluctance when faced with similar projects, without understanding why.
• It doesn’t make sense and you might even feel frustrated or angry toward your body and mind for causing trouble and procrastination.

Here is how to find the nuggets of gold in the the mental yuck created by Type B resistant reluctance. The next time when you experience resistance and are unsure why, here are some techniques to get to the bottom of the ‘why’. Just pick a few that speak to you and use them on yourself, or on your husband, kids or horses. 

Give yourself permission to feel whatever comes up, even if you think the things coming up are silly, unreasonable, selfish, stupid, ridiculous. Give yourself a chuckle; there is no need for self-judgement or being harsh with yourself. You are simply listening in to a deeper part of you. This part has detected a need within you that hasn’t been met for quite a long time. As soon as you’ll find the core purpose of the resistant reluctance, the feelings will soften and eventually melt away; their purpose dissolved, their objective achieved, their master (you) being taken care of. Trust Yourself.

Sounds familiar? If you'd like to get unstuck; here are the seven questions of unstuckability. 

THE SEVEN QUESTIONS OF UNSTUCKABILITY
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1. Tell me about an example of a time in your life - a specific day or single experience- where you felt like you were doing what you were born to do? Describe an experience where you felt fully alive, you were firing on all cylinders and it seemed like everything you’d done in life equipped you for that moment. 

2. In what areas of your life that were broken or messed up in the past are you now helping others? What messages of hope does your life embody for others?

3. What causes you to fire up? It could be the environment, adoption, making your neighborhood safe, anything. What cause gets you angry, passionate, determined or excited? If you had total freedom to rearrange your life today to align with those priorities, those passions, those values, with no outside obstacles or objections, what would be your top priorities? What would a day in your life look like?

Ps: Like what you read? Who else needs to see this? Your sister? Your friend? The Facebook-friend you've never met in real life, but who always posts articles you really enjoy? Go on, give back and share away, it's ok.